He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
