my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
