planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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