"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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