Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
