Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
