walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
