Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
