so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
don't judge my taste in strippers
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
