my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
