Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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