I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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