return my video game
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm really busy with my period
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