Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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