____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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