What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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