dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i believe in u and ur pee
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
