if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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