whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
