I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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