She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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