Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
