Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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