Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
