I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
