so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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