She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
