Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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