Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We're too hungover to prance.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
