never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
