can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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