so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
