Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
