addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
honey bunches of taint.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
