It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
