I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
