You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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