I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
