The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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