zippers are such a cool invention
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
