like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
