I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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