That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Floor bacon is actually really good
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
