U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
