READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
