he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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