Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
