the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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