Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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