One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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